I admit it. I'm a Real Housewives junkie. The OC, New Jersey, New York and now my hometown, Washington D.C. (sorry Atlanta, you do nothing for me). Seriously, I love the series and I love the drama, specifically because it's not my own.
But, the reality is that these shows are not at all reality. Ninety-five percent of the "housewives" I know can't go out for a birthday lunch to get drunk at 11:00 in the morning on a Tuesday, nor can they afford two thousand dollar lamps. The "real" housewives I know are clipping coupons, changing diapers, discussing the pros and cons of swiffers and sending upwards of twenty emails between girlfriends just to figure out a time to have dinner together without kids, months in advance.
Earlier this week, I stopped and thought about what a real housewives version of my life would look like. Would they film me taking a shower but not washing my hair because I had the girls locked in the bedroom with me and I was worried about one of them pinning the other to the ground during an impromptu WWF match? How about my trip to the Hair Cuttery for a twelve dollar hair cut (fifteen with tip) for Tot while I let Bean eat a lollipop in the next chair at 9:30 in the morning? Oh, I know, how about the part of my life where I let the girls sit on lawn mowers outside the Tractor Supply store for ten minutes so they could pretend to drive? No, no, I've got it... how about when I was on the phone fighting with the billing department of a doctor's office over a charge that just popped up from five years ago while fighting with Slick with a water hose because he decided to wallow in mud? Now THAT would make for some compelling television!
The reality is that we buy knock off Silly Bandz, my kids hate wearing cute hair bows, Tot's clothes never match because I allow her to dress herself, I own all of two bras that actually fit because I don't have the time or the energy to buy more, I've never owned a new car, I clean my own house, Bee mows and maintains our yard and I haven't been out drinking with girlfriends in years.
I don't think anyone would tune in to my real housewife reality show, but I like knowing that I'm leaving the drama to other people. I suppose it's all about trade-offs. Of course, I wouldn't mind having the "Real Housewives" paychecks.