I admit it. I'm a Real Housewives junkie. The OC, New Jersey, New York and now my hometown, Washington D.C. (sorry Atlanta, you do nothing for me). Seriously, I love the series and I love the drama, specifically because it's not my own.
But, the reality is that these shows are not at all reality. Ninety-five percent of the "housewives" I know can't go out for a birthday lunch to get drunk at 11:00 in the morning on a Tuesday, nor can they afford two thousand dollar lamps. The "real" housewives I know are clipping coupons, changing diapers, discussing the pros and cons of swiffers and sending upwards of twenty emails between girlfriends just to figure out a time to have dinner together without kids, months in advance.
Earlier this week, I stopped and thought about what a real housewives version of my life would look like. Would they film me taking a shower but not washing my hair because I had the girls locked in the bedroom with me and I was worried about one of them pinning the other to the ground during an impromptu WWF match? How about my trip to the Hair Cuttery for a twelve dollar hair cut (fifteen with tip) for Tot while I let Bean eat a lollipop in the next chair at 9:30 in the morning? Oh, I know, how about the part of my life where I let the girls sit on lawn mowers outside the Tractor Supply store for ten minutes so they could pretend to drive? No, no, I've got it... how about when I was on the phone fighting with the billing department of a doctor's office over a charge that just popped up from five years ago while fighting with Slick with a water hose because he decided to wallow in mud? Now THAT would make for some compelling television!
The reality is that we buy knock off Silly Bandz, my kids hate wearing cute hair bows, Tot's clothes never match because I allow her to dress herself, I own all of two bras that actually fit because I don't have the time or the energy to buy more, I've never owned a new car, I clean my own house, Bee mows and maintains our yard and I haven't been out drinking with girlfriends in years.
I don't think anyone would tune in to my real housewife reality show, but I like knowing that I'm leaving the drama to other people. I suppose it's all about trade-offs. Of course, I wouldn't mind having the "Real Housewives" paychecks.
17 comments:
I haven't watched DC yet...is it worth it? Love love love NY and NJ though!
They could tape me hopping after my kid when he tried to run out of the library the other day...then I quit hopping and won Mother of the Year by saying, "I just can't do it..." to a library employee...good times.
I'm down with lollipops at 9:30 AM though...not for the kids...for me.
I like your (and my) version much better, its more REAL than anything you'll ever see on TV. Although, sometimes I'd like to get drunk at lunch on a Tuedsay with my friends. What are you doing on the 24th?
BTW, I never owned a new car either, until Monday and thats only because my husband works for Ford!
Loved this post. It made me laugh.
Maybe today I will pretend I am being filmed while I fold three baskets of laundry, make gourmet scrambled eggs which I will then pick up off the floor, scrub all THREE of the toilets in our house. For sure I will put my ice water in a wine glass just to make it seem fancy!
Couldn't have said it better myself, and thank goodness we're teaching our children about real life, real relationships, and real values.
I don't watch any of the Real Housewives shows. In fact, I don't watch much of anything that isn't Dora, Max and Ruby, ICarly, or something similar!
But, I'll take my "boring" drama free life anyday!
I would watch it! I only own two bra's that I can comfortably fit into as well. WOW I feel better that I'm not the only one. I seriously thought there was something wrong with me. :)
I watched one season of the Orange County one and that about drove me crazy. But yup, I'll gladly switch paychecks with them!
i'm a rh junkie. came across your blog and posted it on twitter. you're getting raves about how well written and enlightening your blog it. just wanted you to know.
And that is EXACTLY why I have never watched any of those shows! (And don't think I am slamming reality show junkies . . . I am glued to the television every Tuesday night to watch Teen Mom on MTV. Ahem.) I personally would want them to tape me hollering at my kids to get up the hill and get into school while I stand there with a baby who is still covered in breakfast and who smells like a 5 Wipe Alarm.
Blogs are kinda like reality shows. . . minus the commercials? And we all are tuning in to your reality! :)
That's it... I'm coming out there and taking you out for a drink with another mom. Although, lets be real. We'd be home before 10 and spend the whole time talking about the kids. We are so hip. ;)
I have only seen snippets of the Real Housewives (we don't have cable at our house). Though, I really think that would be much more entertaining to follow REAL housewives around and see what their days are really like.
And I'm all for "driving" tractors! Alice climbed up on ours today, and screamed when I made her get down.
i am totally a housewives junkie.
in my version, they would be watching my eyebrows grow out of control because i don;t have time to get them waxed. see my toddler throw herself on the ground because seh can't go "side" during dinner and witness the aforementioned countless emails before friends in an attempt to plan something that ultimatly gets rescheduled because of who knows what!!
Watching DC right now!! I love them also NJ is my FAVE!! Not sure I would be a good housewife but they could set me up in some new diggs and I'll give it a try!
Raises hand in shame, yes, I too am a junkie. Just watched the one from last night during nap time.
oh i'm a rh junkie too. josh gets so irritated when he sees me watching it. "those women have too much time and money on thier hands" i'm like "i KNOW! that's what's so fun to watch" lol. i don't watch atlanta and i have vowed not to watch dc.
now MY show would be me wiping 2 day old yogurt off of jack that he dug out of the trash and decided to eat. and me getting my once a year haircut (the weekend before thanksgiving). oh and me jumping out of the shower naked and with soap dripping into my eye to stop the WWF wrestling match between the girls. How about me finding my spa gift card i never got time to use from 3 years ago to a spa that closed down 2 years ago. :-)
Your version sounds like mine, though I do make time for drinking with girlfriends once a month...
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