Letters

Dear children,
Our carpet is ruined and it's all your fault.  Your vomit, your pee, your cups of milk.  Random crushed pieces of food, globs of silly putty, and clumps of mud from shoes.  I don't even want to sit down on the floor these days because of the stench and disaster you have created.  Stop the madness.  I hope you are saving your allowance for some new, plush carpet.
Love,
Mommy


Dear neighbors,
I don't want to hear about your HOA woes every single day at the bus stop.  I know people aren't landscaping.  I know they aren't mowing regularly.  I know because you talk about it incessantly every single day.  Please just let me stand in silence while I wait for the bus to arrive.
Sincerely,
Danifred


Dear family,
Stop the drama.  That will be all.
Love,
Danifred


Dear Bee,
I am requesting a free pass to sleep all day long.  You know, curled up in the bed with just the blankets and an occasional drink of water.  I know I stay up too late, but a good day of slumber would surely fix my exhaustion woes.  Nevermind the fact that you have to work, I have a thousand things on my to-do list, and the kids need attention.
Love,
Me