Tot is beginning to ask for more grown up things. You know, cars, alcohol, money for tattoos I kid. But, she is asking for things like sleepovers and earrings.
The sleepovers aren't happening yet. I've put my foot down on that one. She's not emotionally or socially ready and neither am I. Playdates are enough work.
Now, the earring thing? We're considering it. I've always told her that she can't do it until she can show us that she is responsible enough to take care of them herself. My own rationale has been that I have enough of everyone else's stuff to do, I don't need to add "clean Tot's ears/ earrings" to my list. What I can say about her lately is that she is demonstrating more mature behavior. She gets dressed each morning on her own, she does her homework after getting home from school without a complaint, she brushes her hair and teeth on her own and without a fight... basically, she's demonstrating responsibility. Our last requirement for this was for her to stop sucking her thumb, and while she may revert back to some thumb sucking during the night, it has all but stopped during the day. It certainly looks like she's making some big effort here.
I got my ears pierced at eight. Whether I was ready or not, I'm not sure, but that's when my dad took me to the mall, against my mother's wishes, and got them pierced for me. I do remember them being painfully infected though at various points.
So, I wonder, what do others think? When is the right time to allow a child to get their ears pierced? Am I alone on this responsibility thing?
11 comments:
I got my ears pierced at 7 (second grade) after I had stopped sucking my thumb for 30 days.
I got my first set of holes at 6, second set at 9. Third and fourth sets in my 20s :)
If you decide to let her do it, just make sure you take her to a place that does both ears at once. One at a time is a recipe for disaster.
At least it's pretty easy to take care of regular piercings. Cartilage and navel piercings are another story.
I got mine pierced as an 8th birthday present in 3rd grade.
I think you're responsibility thing is right on.
i had mine pierced at age 7. And when they did the first hole I freaked and it took months before I would get the 2nd done, so I echo the both at once. (check with your pedi, they usually do it in office). Responsibility is key. Maybe set a date on the calendar, like her 1/2 birthday or something and set some expectations for her to meet. maybe add some chores like putting her own laundry away? setting the table? feeding the dog?
Awesome on the thumb sucking. I often catch K with her thumb in there in the middle of the night, but never during the day or to fall asleep.
I think I was about eight. My rule for ear piercing is that you have to be old enough to bother your mother about it for like a whole year before you are allowed to get it done.
I got mine pierced in first grade. I think your requirements are perfect!
Food for thought..
My girls did not get them done until they were 10 or 11. I wanted to be sure they would take care of them, as well as keep up with earrings and realize things like snagging them on a brush or rough housing could result in a tear to their earlobe.
I dont know if you remember this but i was an asst. manger of a piercing pagoda once. The only time we would piece both ears at once is for babies. Other wise you run the risk of a child jumping at the sound of one ear a half second before the other and in doing so the ears not being pierced on mark.
Also..they will try to sell you a cleaning solution and tell you to not sure peroxide or alcohol. Those dry the skin and are not good for healing...but if you have bactine on hand it works and has the same base ingredient (Benzalkonium) as the stuff made to clean ears but at a lower price.
I was JUST thinking about this the other day! I think 8-10 is good. I did it when I was 12 and everyone else had theirs already done (not like I cared...they've been infected ever since...allergy?).
When is the sleepover thing appropriate? Seems like it's happening earlier and earlier and it's weird. I can't help thinking about the Jerry Sandusky thing. It would have to be a family that I know REALLY well. Also, I don't think they're ready for it.
My rule - when they were "ready." If they never wanted them pierced that was fine too.
The girls both got them pierced last summer. K asked first and so I let her. You only clean them for a few days and then you are done.
A waited months after K and I didn't care if she ever got them done, but she wanted to, but needed her Grandma to take her.
And we did make sure to do them both at the same time and picked out real gold earrings just in case either had a reaction to silver.
We had Hannah's ears pierced at the doctors office. It was spectacular! He did one at a time and was so gentle that she had no problem going from one ear to the other. They used plastic posts which were very easy to clean and honestly not much care given that she had no reaction to them. When she was able to switch we put in little gold hoops and haven't had to do a think since :-) good luck!
We had Hannah's ears pierced at the doctors office. It was spectacular! He did one at a time and was so gentle that she had no problem going from one ear to the other. They used plastic posts which were very easy to clean and honestly not much care given that she had no reaction to them. When she was able to switch we put in little gold hoops and haven't had to do a think since :-) good luck!
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